Birthdays! Big deal?!
As I sit on my chair, listening to coldplay and wishing two of my friends on their birthday, I wonder why is 'birthday' such a big deal ?
I know that after months of practice, on one fine night our parents decided to 'make' us. Is it to celebrate their decision of bringing us into this world or is it for the mission that God has sent us with to bring about a change in the way the Universe operates? (The latter sounded dramatic? I know it did!)
Anyway, it happened! We were born. And since then, everyone who is associated with us celebrates our 'being' every year.
I swear, till the time I was five, I just couldn't understand the logic behind celebrating my birthday. Apparently at that age it wasn't actually meant for me to understand it. I just understood the cake cutting part of it and after that I'd be lost. Amidst all the kisses from aunties and all the gifts given to me by my uncles, I would just smile cluelessly.
Time passed by like waves on a sea shore, year after year, and I grew up. And as I added years to my life I realised that birthdays are seriously something important.
It's like that day of the year where you are given much more importance than you deserve. Yeah seriously, mom doesn't wake you up early in the morning, dad doesn't ask you regarding the money he gave you a week ago to buy books and a lot more drastic one-day-lasting changes that take place in your boring routine.
And thus to be honest, birthdays are much more than a regular day to me.
However it wasn't long that I realized, it is not only me but a lot of people who have some or the other conception about birthdays.
I narrowed it down to two categories (I believe that there are primarily two types of people in the world; men and women. And then the women category has further subtypes... just kidding!!!)
So here's what Women and Men think about birthdays (Wondering why I wrote Women before Men? Democracy! Duh!)
1. The realisation :
This is the time where you actually realise that there's a thing called birthday and you too have one.
Women : Realisation strikes 10 months before birthday and the countdown begins thereafter. Not in months, okay! Women are more specific. They remember it as 9 months 6 days 3 hours and 47 minutes for my birthday. Oh god! I am so excited! (Understand the depth of it my friend).
Men : A week before the birthday that too when someone reminds them saying "Dude, I need a more lavish treat on your birthday".
2. The birthday outfit :
It is the most hyped thing about birthdays. It is something that you need to be very cautious about because all your birthday pictures are gonna be clicked with you wearing that outfit.
Women : Decide their outfit almost one year ago. As in, on the next day of their birthday they decide what they would be wearing on their next birthday. The selection of the outfit has a very crucial criteria that needs to be followed which is :
a. That kind of outfit shouldn't be worn by any of their close friends who have had their birthdays in a span of about 3-4 months.
b. The color of the outfit should match with the season (Yeah come on you can't wear a dark grey coloured dress on a cloudy monsoon evening. Duh!).
c. The color should not be worn by any of their fellow friends at the birthday party (They need to look different from the crowd).
Men : Friend comes and says " Bhai iss baar toh naya kapda pehen apne birthday pe." They wear the same shirt which they had bought for Diwali last year with a different jeans below it to make it look new. Bass! All set to go out.
3. The invitation list :
Okay this is the most tricky part. The invitation list is the proof of the people whom we like and dislike.
Women : Decide on the basis of a lot of meaningful stuff such as :
a. She's out of the list, she didn't invite me on her birthday.
b. He's on the list. He's so cute.
c. He's out of the list. He didn't post on my Facebook wall on my last birthday.
d. She's out of the list. My best friend hates her.
e. She didn't like my last picture on Instagram. She's definitely not coming.
And so on...
Men : I have 4000 bucks to spend. According to my calculations, including all the beer and the food and the taxes and the customary tip I can take 4 people out with me. The first four who ask me for a treat are the ones coming. For the rest, my birthday did not exist. Sorted!
4. The birthday cake :
Women : Will want the most exotic flavor and the prettiest design ever. However will end up eating just a tiny piece (Because come on moti ho jaungi is always there).
Men : Half the cake goes for the cake facial. The remaining half is eaten by friends. You get nothing. Seriously nothing!
5. The birthday presents :
Birthday presents are like the desserts in a restaurant...Main course kaisa bhi ho, dessert acha hona chaiye!
In the same way, presents are extremely important. Presents are actually the 'objectification' of the abstract love that people have for you. And believe me or not, presents do make us feel judgemental!
Women : Holy Christ! Women keep hinting you about what they want as their birthday present just the same way as frogs keep croaking around telling you that monsoon's coming!
Women have a very distinctive, subtle yet conspicuous way of asking for a present. Be it your mom, your sister, your girlfriend or best friend... just anybody, you very well know it that now is the time to say goodbye to all your savings.
Live demonstration, here :
She : (some random name) just bought a new bag. And it is so beautiful you know! I wish I had a bag like that. Just a little bigger and blue in colour and an extra compartment for keeping my phone and a little costlier you know!
You : Okay!
Men : Men hardly get presents. Yeah! Trust me. For them it's always like twenty people contributing to buy a random pair of shoes. And when you finally open it, you come to know you are two sizes smaller for it. And then one of your friend pops up and says "Bhai, ye toh mera size hain. Mai rakh leta hu isse."
Even parents don't bother much about gifting their male child on his birthday. All they say is "Keep this money and go get yourself a good pair of jeans. Aur kinne din ae fatti puraani jeans pehnega dass mainu?"
With the changing course of time, the whole pattern of birthday celebration has changed.
Previously, mom used to take a holiday from work and dad used to come early from office. Mom used to prepare our favourite items (You know that birthday-special menu of Chicken biryaani, gajar halwa, boondi raita and stuff like that).
Our siblings used to make us handwritten cards (Those which would have a lot of spelling mistakes and a picture of a two- floor birthday cake with candles on it).
In the evening there used to be a small party with all our close friends coming over to our place.
Nowadays, parents post 4-5 paragraphs with a picture collage on Facebook, friends post pictures on Instagram, the world wishes us on our Facebook wall and Whatsapp and we...we just spend the day replying 'thank you very much' to all their comments and memorizing the good old days! (This is happening with most of us. If not, you're a lucky person then!)
Long story short, keep the essence of this day alive forever with a thought that with each passing year a whole new bunch of experiences, good as well as bad, has been added to your closet! Appreciate it, enjoy it!
#seeyouuntilnexttime
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